who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
