dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
