your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
