Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
