It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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