You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
