i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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