Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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