What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
