i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
