take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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