i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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