I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
