I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize