Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
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