I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
