She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
