his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
