Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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