Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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