Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
