this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
