God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
