Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
