I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize