I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
