So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
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