thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
