so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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