i wish there were pregnant emoticons
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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