I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
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Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
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He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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