she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
