The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
