He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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