Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
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