They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
