we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
