i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
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