Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
