I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
