Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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