Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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