yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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