Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
