i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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