bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
