He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
