I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
so let's talk penis.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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