we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
