these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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