Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
