girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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