I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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