im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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