doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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