Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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