she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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