At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Randomize
