this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize